August 29, 2010- A Good Man is Hard to Find
It was my husband's birthday last weekend. There's a Whiskeytown song that reminds me of him- "a pretty hard life for such an easy heart". He does have the purest heart, and it is such a delight to celebrate him because he is just so surprised by it. Birthdays weren't at all a big deal in his family, so he has no expectations for special gatherings or thoughtful gifts. This makes him the exact opposite of a girl (ahem) who believed as a child that the Independence Day fireworks at the golf club were actually in honor of her birthday (July 3).
I've always struggled with too-high expectations for birthdays. I'm sure it's due in part to growing up with an incredibly creative and caring mother who made our days really special, year after year. A family friend came to every party dressed as Minnie Mouse or another life-sized character, Mum made birthday cakes in fantastic shapes, there were wonderful surprise parties, and a perfect Sweet 16 bash. Is it any wonder I was always disappointed once I left home and had to take responsibility for my own birthday?
I've been learning to let go and just enjoy the little things about birthdays- their innate magic- without getting my hopes up for over-the-top surprises or huge parties. I've realized this year that much of my birthday-crazy is being redirected by celebrating D and A, who have never before been feted and will find birthdays magical for years to come. There is more joy in creating a special day for them than I could ever get from my own day- oh wait, wow, is that a glimmer of birthday maturity? Fingers crossed.
