June 7, 2011- Growing Notes
So, I've become a gardener. I've always loved flowers and breezy springs and deep English cottage garden borders full of wildness and color- but until this year it's been limited to cutting out pictures from magazines and pasting them in a book. Nice to look at- impossible to create. But now I'm fully nested in our dear wee 'house of dreams', and ready to tackle the impossible. We're going to stay here for years and years, so I'll be able to watch the garden grow up. A is old enough to amuse herself in the yard while I putter around with a giant bag of compost in tow. And frankly, I was in need of a Big Project to amuse myself- something akin to planning a wedding, or having a baby. The garden has not disappointed... it's more work than either of those two things, but almost as rewarding.
The last several months I've been in the garden every spare minute that I'm not working or with A. (Admittedly, I'm also a fair-weather gardener- no forking up muddy beds wearing a rain hood and galoshes, nossir). I've never been able to keep a houseplant alive for more than a few months- except a stubborn peace lily in 2003 that I could NOT kill. But so far I'm doing pretty well! I've put in over 70 kinds of plants already, and only a few things have withered and gone to plant heaven, and I'm fairly sure those were not my fault. It was the sun, you see- it didn't shine as much as it should have in May.
It's kind of exhilarating to have a new hobby. Getting absorbed in something has its pros and cons, though. On the Cons side, I've spent a ridiculous amount of money on plants (worth every penny- though my other half might disagree slightly ;-) Also, my social life has become an afterthought. I didn't leave the yard for the entire Memorial Day weekend (until Monday afternoon when I went to Folklife for a few hours), and that is just sad. Like, spinster lady with 7 cats kind of sad.
On the Pros side, I am in a total zen state when I'm in the yard, and that's pretty damn rare for me. Something about gardening turns your mind into a blue sky with puffy white clouds drifting across it. I'm totally alone, yet it's that friendly sort of alone, with husband and child busy at something nearby. I'm in my head and in the earth at the same time, sustaining things, making my tiny corner of the world beautiful. I might be the only one who ever notices how tall the delphiniums get or how the afternoon light rests gently on the daisies, but when I absorb those things I feel crazy-full of this earthful-nurturing joy. Doing something so private is pretty unusual for me- normally my hobbies are public or social or for the greater good. But this quiet toiling with living things has been good for my soul, and I'm glad of it. I suppose helping things grow has become a theme of my days lately... gardening, mothering, shaping a new function at work. I never thought I would be the person who would find joy in these calm, slow-going pursuits, but I'm glad to have grown into her.
"In spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt." ~ Margaret Atwood
