Fare forward, voyagers
Well, we’ve made it across the pond and arrived safely in Scotland. Both travel and quarantine have felt like a ‘time out of time’- like a waking dream. I thought that actually moving would end my feeling of limbo, but I’m still in it. We’ve closed one chapter but haven’t started the next.
My dear friend Cynthia gave me a T.S. Eliot poem to read on the plane, and it was so apropos:
Fare forward, you who think that you are voyaging;
You are not those who saw the harbour
Receding, or those who will disembark.
Here between the hither and the farther shore
While time is withdrawn, consider the future
And the past with an equal mind.
At the moment which is not of action or inaction
You can receive this: ‘on whatever sphere of being
The mind of a man may be intent
At the time of death’ - that is the one action
(And the time of death is every moment)
Which shall fructify in the lives of others:
And do not think of the fruit of action.
Fare forward.
Quarantine has been easier than I expected. In these weeks between chapters (not of action or inaction), we are fully awake and aware of our new surroundings, but it feels surreal. It’s a forced pause, though not an unwelcome one. After all the freneticism of getting here, I needed a sabbatical from doing. And while I’ve kept myself busy here, nesting and ordering and arranging, there are no errands to be run or people to meet, no appointments or activities. Fourteen blank days to pass quietly in our flat before we rejoin the outside world…. The hours have blurred together surprisingly peacefully, and it’s been refreshing to live fully in the present.
From the kitchen this morning
Our flat is lovely- more on that later- and there have been blue skies through the big windows every day. We have a key to the large private garden opposite, so have been able to take a few furtive walks and soak up some Scottish sunshine. We’ve had food delivered from both small local shops and big grocery stores, and it’s so fun to discover new kinds of beer, gluten-free crumpets and sausage rolls, a dozen types of cream, types of fish that are totally new to us. My mum has appeared on our landing many times with odds and ends we’ve needed, making me wonder how anyone manages quarantine without local help. My cats have arrived safely after a multi-day journey and are curled up near me now- anywhere they are feels like home.
And so, in the anteroom of our new life, I have everything I need. I hope I can remember how to stay in the present when I’ve moved on to the next chapter. Fare forward!
